Windowsill Pie Bandit G8

In short, for Windowsill Pie Bandit G8, Wanted for crimes against unattended desserts!!! Don’t be fooled by the buttery, laminated charm of these Beat Gs. Ignore the cartoon scent trail curling through the air, beckoning like a windowsill pie with zero supervision. Go ahead, slip them on. Next thing you know, you're elbow-deep in pastry, demolishing fruit pies with zero witnesses and even less restraint. It’s a slippery slope, but this life of delicious crime looks good on you. (P.S. You’ve got a little boysenberry in your right nostril.)